Buddhism Finally Strikes Gold

I have just read that an ancient timber structure has been unearthed in Nepal, and that it is believed it could be the birthplace of Buddha. Also that the structure could have been built as a shrine enclosing the tree that the Buddha's mother clung to during the birth of her revered son. 

This could be a wonderful opportunity for Buddhism. They just need to learn a thing or two from the Roman Catholic Church and it could turn into a very nice little earner.

In particular that tree could be a godsend [sic]. Pieces of the "one true tree" would sell for a fortune. And they don't even need to be genuine, the faithful will fall for any old toffee (ask the Vatican).

Then there could be the pilgrimages to the birth place with special coach tours, or even a dedicated airport just like Knock in Ireland! Throw in a few miraculous cures and you have a little gold mine.

Unfortunately that Buddhist non-violent thing rules out a nice little crusade which is a pity because it's a real money spinner. Still sticking the Dali Llama in a grand palace somewhere and wheeling him out for a blessing or two each week will do wonders for the tourist trade. It doesn't really matter where it is, somewhere nice and safe and well away from the dangerous regions were all this stuff was supposed to have happened is good. Europe is good but pick somewhere nice and warm, for example Rome (although that one is already taken).

To really get the best out of it you need to invent some decent Buddhist sins and arrange for their forgiveness at reasonable rates. It's tempting to go for a premium price offer (like Scientology) but most of your believers are likely to be hard up, so settle for a low price and lots of volume. It works well for the Holy See and has for many centuries .

I wish them good luck with the new venture. There is always room for another religious theme park. and always remember (to paraphrase the magnificent P T Barnum) "nobody ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great general public".